I've come to the conclusion that I'm going to try not to have expectations for myself or situations. For almost every time I've had my mind set a certain way it turns out not as planned, or worse than planned, and my hopes of the moment are almost vanished completely leaving a certain emptiness than before. It's the same thing with crushes, I was talking to my brother today. What exactly is the point of a crush? I thought that perhaps it was called so because it's as if the waves of the person's emotions are crashing down on them, and like waves on the sand they keep coming, it's unavoidable. Yet, why? It's as if they are inevitable and extremely unproductive and in some cases only physical attraction. And I really dumbly stated, "Well, if a person can't stop thinking about someone, then they'll be thinking about them." Which, I suppose, is true. A crush is an expectation almost, I don't know but I think at some point everybody imagines themselves with a certain person. For me these never ever work out, either I'm too shy to initiate conversation or perhaps it's just that I don't like to flirt. Either way it doesn't work out and my teenage brain is left asking irrelevant questions that have no reason to judge character, yet I judge myself. So I suppose I'm just saying crush=expectation=disappointment. If someone has a goal to date someone, and thrusts themselves at that person I feel like the person would get tired of the thruster and get bored and leave. And then, disappointment I guess. But then, aren't all goals just large-scale expectations?
Or does that depend on how you go about pursuing it?
