Yes, teenage girl, webcam open for constant entertainment, it's gonna happen. I like my webcam selfies because usually when I take these, I'm by myself, and nobody is around to comment on my facial demeanor or ask me why I make a certain face. And I like that they don't, because in my room I can be completely me. I don't have to worry about being judged by people.
Sometimes I don't have a reason of why I like a certain picture. Sometimes I just like that it shows who I am inside. And although that may sound cheesy, take a moment to realize that some of the best things come covered in cheese.
A lot of the time when I am on facebook, basically one of the birthplaces of internet social norms, I notice a trend in pictures typically accepted as good profile pics and/or get lots of likes. They're typically bright, photoshopped, person smiling, or modeling, yada yada. I must admit that presently my picture falls under that category. But am I the only one, who upon looking at my pic if it's overly glossy or I notice my slapped-on smile, and just think, ehk? I don't know dude but sometimes I just annoy the heck outta myself.
More often times than not I find myself wanting to upload the picture from my webcam, the normal picture of me not smiling, just being Noelle and sitting and thinking. But then I remember the hassle of it, that people talk. Or moreof, people type. And moreof moreof, parental acceptance. Jinkies!
There was once a time that I uploaded a picture of myself that I really liked, this was recently actually, and the sun shown on my face in a beautiful way and my eyes squinted in the sun. I love that picture because it showed what I went through that day. To me it showed all of my struggles and overcoming of things I go through, that I have anxieties, and that I love to make people laugh so that they don't feel bad, but to do so I have to overcome those anxieties. Yeah, gooey stuff like that. Anyway I posted it, and granted, I know anything posted on the internet is free-reign to whatever people's opinions and whatever they want to tell me. But within minutes I received comments such as 'I don't like this side of Noelle' and I quote 'you look pissed.'
Ow my heart. Like okay, sorry I have emotions that aren't always peachy. Even my parents told me to change the image. And I know they mean it all in the best but what up? Perhaps it made other people uncomfortable because they saw vulnerability in themselves. Idk my dudes.
I wish that we could just be, without worrying about being judged. And although some of us may be at a place where we put the opinions of others on the back burner, there is still that little section of our brains that goes in that annoying little squeaky voice, but what will people think of this? And my advice to that little squeaky voice? Tell it to go eat a pizza.
Well I mean, sometimes that doesn't work, telling it to just go away. My advice for if you really are worried about what people think of you, or worrying whether or not your doing something cool or wrong or annoying, is just to let go. Realize that we are all people, we literally all have insecurities and at some point we all wonder about finding ourselves. Just look inside yourself and say, who cares if this is acceptable/cool/annoying? Anything you do can never please everyone, so why try to please anyone except your religious belief or yourself? If your social experiment works, cool. If not, cool! At least then you learn, and you learn more about yourself in the meantime.
One other thing I will add my friends, is that the first step to not judging yourself, is to not judge others. Everybody is fighting their own battle, so if someone does that embarrassing thing or that stupid annoying thing, remember they probably feel just as insecure about it as you would, they are learning as well.
If you ever feel sad remember that you don't need to have designer clothes to feel adequate, and you don't need to sway your own opinion to fit into a conversation even if they are the only people there to talk to. You're your own person, you have your own mind, and in time, you will find those that you can be around and communicate your thoughts entirely. As a teen I too must constantly remind myself that everything is simply a moment in time, I do not have to worry about the little things in life like an opinion. Opinion shmopinion!!
And so my friends I shall write this to you as I write it to myself.
Forget social norms. Just be you.
Please enjoy this gif I found of a Nicolas Cage teletubbies crossover
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